While there’s nothing wrong with tried-and-true moves in the bedroom, sometimes you and your partner just need to try something…different. After all, sex is all about having fun, keeping the fire burning red hot, and maintaining the thrill of discovery in your relationship – and with your bodies. Besides, who doesn’t like to try something new every once in a while? It’s time to spice things up! Whether you’re in a fresh relationship or with a long-term partner, here are 10 fun things every couple needs to try in bed in 2023.
1. Play with a New Toy
There’s no need to choose between having fun with a partner or your favorite sex toys in bed – you can enjoy both in one session! Despite their reputation, sex toys aren’t necessarily replacements for partnered sex; they’re additions. In fact, many toys can be used to enhance both of your pleasure in bed.
Specifically designed with the sole purpose of aiding in your sexual pleasure, sex toys help improve sexual satisfaction, boost intimacy with your partner, and increase the chances of climax dramatically. Many studies have shown that those that use sex toys typically experience better orgasms and report higher satisfaction with their sex lives.
2. Break Out of the Bedroom
There’s no denying how comfortable your bedroom is, but one of the best (and simplest) ways to liven things up in bed – is to leave that bed! Take things anywhere inside or outside your home that excites you, whether that’s the kitchen, in the shower, or the backseat of your car. Getting intimate outside of your usual locale creates a fun and spontaneous vibe that makes things seem like they’re so hot you couldn’t even wait to get to the bedroom.
Make it a game between the two of you and see how many different places you can get busy. Or try somewhere new each time to really spice things up!
3. Keep Your Hands to Yourself
Watch and learn, but keep your hands to yourself this time. Masturbation may typically be thought of as a solo activity, but it doesn’t have to be! Break the stigma around masturbation and turn it into a partner activity by doing it together. You could even turn on porn to spice it up even more. When your partner watches you, they may discover something different that you like, and vice versa. The next time, you can try to reproduce those same movements, guide each other’s hands, or even give each other instructions on what you want the other to do to yourselves.
4. Role Play
If you’re looking to do something different and exciting in bed, role play just may be your new favorite. You may feel a little awkward or uncomfortable at first, but with a little time, you’ll grow to enjoy it – and be the one to suggest it. It’s like making each time you have a sex its own adventure! Dressing up for role play is fun, but completely not required. Pretend to be strangers, play doctor, play around with power dynamics, or even become your favorite characters from a movie or show. Stepping outside of yourself can be beneficial for clearing your head for full enjoyment in the moment and for exploring yourselves sexually.
5. Try New Positions
You don’t want to have the same flavor of ice cream everyday, so why stick to one flavor in the bedroom? According to the Kama Sutra, there are 64 different sexual positions you can try – and they’re all waiting to be discovered. Give your reliable positions a break for a day and experiment with a few new ones like the magic mountain sex position. How do you do it? You and your partner sit with legs bent, leaning back on hands and forearms until you make contact.
Have fun with new positions! If you don’t like one, you can always try another or go back to your trusted positions and moves.
6. Sensual Massage
After a long day, you and your partner deserve to experience some pleasure in more ways than one. Get sensual and a little romantic by bringing erotic massage into the bedroom. Dim the lights and light some aromatic candles, turn on soothing music, grab oils, and layout silky smooth sheets to really set the mood. Take turns exploring and enjoying each other’s bodies. Besides providing pleasure and premium relaxation, sensual massages keep you in the present moment and can help ease anxiety and stress, which helps make it easier for you to climax!
Up until about a decade ago, BDSM (Bondage, Discipline/Domination, Sado-Masichism) was largely considered a fringe or taboo activity that was of little interest to sexually-active adults. Not anymore. Now, about one-third of American adults say that they use some element of BDSM during sex.
If going too far into BDSM sounds like too much, start small! There’s no need to immediately grab handcuffs, ropes, or ball gags. Have fun by engaging in light bondage with silk scarves, try light spanking, or use a blindfold in bed. Always remember to have a safe word during BDSM, which stops the activities immediately and the dominant partner removes any restraints.
8. Say Yes to Lube
If you’ve never used lube, this is your sign to start. Every couple engaging in any type of sex needs it at the ready. Why? Adding lube makes sex more pleasurable for everyone involved, and more often. Try a water-based lube, which is safe for use with condoms and toys. Once you feel comfortable with that, give flavored lube a try to make oral extra tasty or sensation lubes like those that tingle or have a warming effect!
9. Limit the Senses
Sex is normally a sensory overload of touch, sound, taste, and sight. But what would happen with one of them gone? Limiting one of the senses during sex, or sensory deprivation, is associated with heightening the rest of the senses – and your pleasure. Block out the light with a blindfold, drown out background noises with music, or restrict movement with handcuffs. You have no shortage of options.
Once you’ve taken one of the senses out of the picture, you can take things up a notch and send their other senses into a sexual frenzy by engaging in stimulating activities like alternating temperatures with ice cubes over their body, wax play, or different foods.
10. Talk Dirty
While many couples may shy away from talking dirty in bed or cringe at the very thought of it, it may be just the thing that will spice things up during foreplay or sex. Like role play, it may feel a little uncomfortable at first, but that’s perfectly normal. Just be completely present in the moment and communicate exactly what you feel or want from your partner. Say it like you mean it! As a form of verbal expression, dirty talk can be words or sounds. In other words, it could vary wildly, from a single word or phrase to describe what’s happening to constructing a fantasy. Do what feels right to you.
Try Something New
There’s no better time to try something new and different in bed than right now. Sex matters. Intimacy matters. And so does ensuring that you and your partner are both comfortable and excited with the new things you’re trying. Don’t know where to begin? Talk with your partner about what you’d like to try or even make it into a game by choosing a few spicy activities at random and get ready to have some fun!